This Man's Wife Told Him, "for Christmas,

You're Aging When Your Actions Creak Louder Than Your Words.

One Teacher Recently Retired With A Half-million Dollars After 30 Years Of Working Hard, Caring, Dedicating Herself And Totally Immensing Herself In The Problems Of The Students. That Gave Her $50. The Rest Of The Money Came From The Death Of A Rich Uncle.

I Made A Terrible Mistake Last Christmas. My Wife Made Me Swear That I Wouldn't Give Her A Fancy Gift. And I Didn't.

The Problem With Life Is, By The Time You Can Read Women Like A Book, Your Library Card Has Expired.

I Never Stole A Joke In My Life. I Just Find Them Before They're Lost.