To The Pessimist The Light At The

I Wish I Had A Twin, So I Could Know What I'd Look Like Without Plastic Surgery.

At My Funeral, I Want Meryl Streep Crying In Five Different Accents.

I Once Dated A Guy So Dumb He Could Not Count To 21 Unless He Was Naked

Half Of All Marriages End In Divorce- And Then There Are The Really Unhappy Ones.

You Know Why I Feel Older? I Went To Buy Sexy Underwear And They Automatically Gift Wrapped It.