Your Proudest Moment Is To Watch Your

People Are Arguing Whether Mel Gibson's "passion Of The Christ" Is Anti-semitic. Well, Whether It Is Or It Isn't, It Doesn't Matter, Because I've Been In Touch With His Accounting Firm, Rosencrantz, Levy And Stern, And They're Screwing Him Out Of His Profits.

Want To Know Why Women Don't Blink During Foreplay? Not Enough Time.

I Want To Be Buried In A Valentino Gown And I Want Harry Winston To Make Me A Toe Tag.

I Knew I Was An Unwanted Baby When I Saw That My Bath Toys Were A Toaster And A Radio.

Comedy Is Truth. We Should Not Apologize For It.