Times Don't Change. Men Do.

When I Was A Boy I Used To Do What My Father Wanted. Now I Have To Do What My Boy Wants. My Problem Is: When Am I Going To Do What I Want?

The Reason God Made Man Before Woman Was That He Didn't Want Any Suggestions.

Democracy Means Doing Whatever You Want Without Asking Permission Of Anybody But Your Boss, Your Doctor, Your Lawyer, Your Landlord, Your Bank, Your City, Your State And Federal Authorities, And Your Wife And Children.

Our Toaster Has Two Settings: Too Soon Or Too Late.

If Your Wife Wants To Learn To Drive, Don't Stand In Her Way.