Tigers Love Pepper...they Hate Cinnamon.

Did You Ever Wake Up With An Erection...and Find Yourself In A Massage Chair At Brookstone? And You Yell To The Sales Clerk "i'll Take It!"

Reciting Lines Is Hard; Making Stuff Up Is Much, Much Easier.

I Once Walked In On My Grandparents Making Love...and That's Why I Don't Eat Raisins.

I'm Terrible At Heights. I Hate It. I'm Glad I'm Only 5'7".

My Dad Doesn't Get Any Of My Jokes. He Laughs At Them, But He Doesn't Understand Them. He's Just Laughing Because People Around Him Are Laughing.