My Forte Is Awkwardness.

I Try To Write Three Jokes Every Day. I Don't Sit Down And Write Them, It's Just Things That Pop Into My Head. Then I'll Go Watch It Fail Onstage That Night.

I've Never Been In Love... But I Imagine It's Similar To The Feeling You Get When You See Your Waiter Arriving With Your Food

I Think Those Neighborhood Signs That Say 'slow Children Playing' Are Mean.

That's One Of The Great Things About Comedy: We Can - And Should - Say The Things That Other People Aren't Supposed To Say. If We Didn't Do That, If We Didn't Push Against Those Limits, We'd Just Be Standing Around Onstage And Yelling.

I Just Try To Keep Myself A Traditionalist. I Liked Being An Underground Comic Doing My Thing. I Want To Maintain That. I Just Do.