This Is Frank Carson, News At Ten,

Did You Know You Can Have An Irish Abortion, But There Is A 12 Month Waiting List?

I Gave My Wife A Kiss This Morning. She Jumped Out Of Bed And Did A Lap Of Honour.

An Englishman, An Irishman And A Scotsman Walk Into A Bar. The Barman Looks At Them And Says: "is This Some Kind Of A Joke?"

A Man Walked Into A Shop And Asked, "how Much Are Your Eggs?" He Said "£1.40 A Dozen". He Then Asked: "how Much Are Your Cracked Ones?" He Said: "35p". He Said: "crack Us Four Dozen."

A Man Turns To The Guy Next To Him Who's Covered In Bandages From Head To Toe And Asks "what Happened?". "i Fell Through A Glass Window," Explains The Man. The First Man Says: "lucky You Were Wearing All Those Bandages."