This Is Frank Carson, News At Ten,

Did You Know You Can Have An Irish Abortion, But There Is A 12 Month Waiting List?

I'm Not Really A Homosexual. I Just Help Them Out When They're Busy.

A Traffic Policeman Stops Sister Bridget For Speeding. She Pulls Into The Side Of The Road And Winds Down Her Window. The Officer Walks Round And Starts Undoing His Fly. "oh Dear," She Says, "not The Breathalyser Again."

A Man Walks Into A Pet Shop And Says: "give Me A Wasp." The Shopkeeper Replies: "we Don't Sell Wasps." He Says: "there's One In The Window."

Frank Once Slipped Something Into The Pocket Of A Luggage Handler At The Airport And Said: "have A Drink On Me." The Luggage Handler Later Found Out It Was A Tea Bag.