I Come From A Family Of Musicians.

Two Irishmen Were Passing A Pub - Well, It Could Happen.

The Council In Blackpool Have Given The Homeless Bus Passes, But How Would They Know Where To Get Off?

I Was In A Panto Last Year, Aladdin And The Wonderful Lamp. I Played The Wick. I Got The Sack Because I Was Too Well-oiled Every Night.

It's Never Occurred To Me To Worry About My Health, Or That I'll Get Old, Or That People Will Stop Laughing At Me.

My Uncle Jimmy Took Liver Salts Twice A Day For 40 Years. He Died On Sunday, Was Buried Wednesday And The Following Friday They Had To Go To The Cemetery To Beat His Liver To Death With A Stick.