They Say Love Thy Neighbor As Thy

I Come From A Stupid Family. My Father Worked In A Bank. They Caught Him Stealing Pens.

My Wifes Cooking Is So Bad The Flys Fix Our Screens

My Boy Is A Mean Kid. I Came Home The Other Day And Saw Him Taping Worms To The Sidewalk, He Sits There And Watches The Birds Get Hernias. Well, Only Last Christmas I Gave Him A B-b Gun And He Gave Me A Sweatshirt With A Bulls-eye On The Back. I Told My Kids, "someday, You'll Have Kids Of Your Own." One Of Them Said, "so Will You."

I Was An Ugly Kid; When I Was Born, After The Doctor Cut The Cord, He Hung Himself.

If Every Man Was As True To His Country As He Was To His Wife, We'd Be In A Lot Of Trouble.