I Like Southern Girls. They Talk So

I Could Tell My Parents Hated Me. My Bath Toys Were A Toaster And A Radio.

My Boy Is A Mean Kid. I Came Home The Other Day And Saw Him Taping Worms To The Sidewalk, He Sits There And Watches The Birds Get Hernias. Well, Only Last Christmas I Gave Him A B-b Gun And He Gave Me A Sweatshirt With A Bulls-eye On The Back. I Told My Kids, "someday, You'll Have Kids Of Your Own." One Of Them Said, "so Will You."

All My Wife And I Do Is Fight About Sex. The Other Night, We Really Had It Out. Well, I'll Put It This Way - I Had It Out.

My Mother Used To Rock Me - And She Used Big Rocks.

We Lived In A Neighborhood That Was Too Rich For Us. When I Was Young, I Had To Deliver Groceries To The Homes Of The Kids I Went To School With. I Had To Go To The Back Doors To Make The Deliveries. It Was Embarrassing. That Was One Thing Out Of A Hundred.