Never Tell Your Wife She's Bad In

One Time I Went To A Hotel. I Asked The Bellhop To Handle My Bag. He Felt Up My Wife!

One Time My Whole Family Played Hide And Seek. They Found My Mother In Pittsburgh!

Once I Pulled A Job, I Was So Stupid. I Picked A Guy's Pocket On An Airplane And Made A Run For It.

I Remember I Was So Depressed I Was Going To Jump Out A Window On The Tenth Floor; They Sent A Priest Up To Talk To Me And He Said, ' On Your Mark...'

If Beauty Is In The Eye Of The Beholder, So Is Ugliness.