They Always Say To Californians That We

Women Want Men, Careers, Money, Children, Friends, Luxury, Comfort, Independence, Freedom, Respect, Love, And A Three-dollar Pantyhose That Won't Run.

A Stand-up Comic Is Judged By Every Line. Singers Get Applause At The End Of Their Song No Matter How Bad They Are.

I Have So Many Liver Spots, I Ought To Come With A Side Of Onions.

I Was The World's Ugliest Baby. I Have Photos Of My Folks Leaving The Hospital With Sacks Over Their Heads... I Asked My Mother How To Turn Off The Electric Fan. She Said 'grab The Blade!

I Realize It Is Normal To Argue. I Almost Missed World War Ii Watching My Parents Fight.