It's A Certain Kind Of Immortality, Because

My Cooking Is So Bad My Kids Thought Thanksgiving Was To Commemorate Pearl Harbor.

We Named All Our Children Kid. Well, They Have Different First Names, Like Hey Kid, You Kid, Dumb Kid . . .

Fang Took The Entire Family Out For Coffee And Donuts The Other Night. The Kids Enjoyed It. It Was The First Time They'd Ever Given Blood.

Whatever You May Look Like, Marry A Man Your Own Age - As Your Beauty Fades, So Will His Eyesight.

When I Was A Kid And We Used To Play Post Office, I Was The Dead Letter Office.