The Ugliest Player I Ever Signed Was

We Used To Go To The Pictures Every Saturday Night But We Had To Leave A Little Bit Early And Get Home And Watch Match Of The Day - And My Wife Still Complains She Missed The Last Five Minutes Of Every Film We Saw.

It Only Takes A Second To Score A Goal.

We Had A Good Team On Paper. Unfortunately, The Game Was Played On Grass.

If God Had Wanted Us To Play Football In The Sky, He'd Have Put Grass Up There.

The River Trent Is Lovely, I Know Because I Have Walked On It For 18 Years.