The Two-headed Boy In The Circus Never

I Was Almost Put Out Of Business By A Well-meaning Corpse.

A Merry Christmas To All My Friends Except Two.

No One Likes The Fellow Who Is All Rogue, But We'll Forgive Him Almost Anything If There Is Warmth Of Human Sympathy Underneath His Rogueries. The Immortal Types Of Comedy Are Just Such Men.

W. C. Fields, A Lifetime Agnostic, Was Discovered Reading A Bible On His Deathbed. ''i'm Looking For A Loop-hole,'' He Explained.

My Illness Is Due To My Doctor's Insistence That I Drink Milk, A Whitish Fluid They Force Down Helpless Babies.