I Never Voted For Anybody. I Always

Comedy Is A Serious Business. A Serious Business With Only One Purpose--to Make People Laugh.

Abstaining Is Favorable Both To The Head And The Pocket.

I Feel Like A Midget With Muddy Feet Had Been Walking Over My Tongue All Night.

The Funniest Thing A Comedian Can Do Is Not Do It.

I Never Eat Before Breakfast.