The Other Night A Mugger Took Off

When I Was A Kid I Got No Respect. I Had No Friends. I Remember The See-saw. I Had To Keep Runnin' From One End To The Other.

This Morning When I Put On My Underwear I Could Hear The Fruit-of-the-loom Guys Laughing At Me.

You Know You're Ugly When You Go To The Proctologist And He Sticks His Finger In Your Mouth.

I Once Asked A Policeman How Far It Was To The Subway. He Said, "i Don't Know, No One Has Ever Made It".

Hey, Did Somebody Step On A Duck?