I Drink Too Much, Way Too Much;

It Was The Same Thing In The Army, No Respect. They Gave Me A Uniform That Glowed In The Dark.

I Told My Wife The Truth. I Told Her I Was Seeing A Psychiatrist. Then She Told Me The Truth: That She Was Seeing A Psychiatrist, Two Plumbers, And A Bartender.

If I Could Have Dinner With Anyone Who Lived In History, It Would Depend On The Restaurant.

It's Great To Have Gray Hair. Ask Anyone Who's Bald.

I Joined Gamblers Anon., They Gave Me 2 To 1 I Wouldn't Make It! I Joined Aa, There Was A Two Drink Minimum!