I Went To A Freak Show And

I Feel Sorry For Short People, You Know. When It Rains, They're The Last To Know.

I Tell Ya, Sex Is Getting Harder All The Time. Me And My Wife Were Trying To Have Sex For Hours Last Night And I Finally Gave Up. I Asked Her, "what, You Can't Think Of Anybody Either?"

I Know I'm Not Sexy. In High School I Was Voted Most Likely To Masturbate.

I Have Good Looking Kids. Thank Goodness My Wife Cheats On Me.

When I Was Born I Was So Ugly The Doctor Slapped My Mother.