The Only Time To Believe Any Kind

Golf Is My Real Profession. Entertainment Is Just A Sideline. I Tell Jokes To Pay My Greens Fees.

A Freudian Slip Is When You Say One Thing But Mean Your Mother.

Welcome To The Academy Awards, Or, As It's Known At My House, Passover.

Golf Is A Hard Game To Figure. One Day You Will Go Out And Slice It And Shank It, Hit Into All The Traps And Miss Every Green. The Next Day You Go Out And, For No Reason At All, You Really Stink.

Take Nine Strokes Off Your Score. Skip The Last Hole.