The Only Real Laughter Comes From Despair.

Come On In Girls, And Leave All Hope Behind.

Thirteen At A Table Is Unlucky Only, When The Hostess Has Only Twelve Chops.

While Money Can't Buy Happiness, It Certainly Lets You Choose Your Own Form Of Misery.

Money Will Not Make You Happy, And Happy Will Not Make You Money.

A Thing That Has Always Baffled Me About Women Is That They Will Saturate Themselves With A Pint Of Perfume, A Pound Of Sachet Powder, An Evil-smelling Lip Rouge, A Peculiar-smelling Hair Ointment And A Half-dozen Varieties Of Body Oils, And Then Have The Effrontery To Complain Of The Aroma Of A Fine Dollar Cigar.