The Best Thing About Growing Older Is

The Old Water Heater In My Dressing Room Was Working, But It Was Kind Of Tired. It Gave Off About As Much Warmth As An Agent's Handshake.

Failure Is The Only Thing I've Ever Been A Success At.

The Trees In Siberia Are Miles Apart, That Is Why The Dogs Are So Fast.

No One Party Can Fool All Of The People All Of The Time; That's Why We Have Two Parties

America Is A Country Where The Olympics And The Divorce Lawyers Both Have The Same Slogan - Go For The Gold.