The Audience Was Swell. They Were So

English Clubs Are Very Exclusive. I Played Royal Foxshire And They Made Me Wear A Suit And Tie. . . In The Shower.

The Concorde Is Great. It Gives You Three Extra Hours To Find Your Luggage.

No One Party Can Fool All Of The People All Of The Time; That's Why We Have Two Parties

Jack Benny Really Liked My Book. I Know Because He Called Me Up From The Library And Told Me.

The Old Water Heater In My Dressing Room Was Working, But It Was Kind Of Tired. It Gave Off About As Much Warmth As An Agent's Handshake.