That's Nothing - My Alarm Clock Is

If You Were A Man, You'd Go Into Business For Yourself. I Know A Fellow Who Started Out Last Year With Just A Canoe. Now He's Got More Women Than You Can Shake A Stick At, If That's Your Idea Of A Good Time.

The Husband Who Wants A Happy Marriage Should Learn To Keep His Mouth Shut And His Checkbook Open.

A Thing That Has Always Baffled Me About Women Is That They Will Saturate Themselves With A Pint Of Perfume, A Pound Of Sachet Powder, An Evil-smelling Lip Rouge, A Peculiar-smelling Hair Ointment And A Half-dozen Varieties Of Body Oils, And Then Have The Effrontery To Complain Of The Aroma Of A Fine Dollar Cigar.

I Can't Understand Why You Don't Get Any Mail From Me. Perhaps It's Because I Haven't Been Writing

Comedians Are A Much Rarer And Far More Valuable Commodity Than All The Gold And Precious Stones In The World.