That's Nothing - My Alarm Clock Is

I Have Just One Day, Today, And I'm Going To Be Happy In It.

While Money Can't Buy Happiness, It Certainly Lets You Choose Your Own Form Of Misery.

One Woman And One Man Might Have Been Ok In Your Grandmother's Day, But Who Wants To Marry Your Grandmother? Not Even Your Grandfather!

No, Groucho Is Not My Real Name. I Am Breaking It In For A Friend. I Never Forget A Face, But In Your Case I'll Be Glad To Make An Exception. I Find Television Very Educating. Every Time Somebody Turns On The Set, I Go Into The Other Room And Read A Book. I Have Had A Perfectly Wonderful Evening, But This Wasn't It. I Didn't Like The Play, But Then I Saw It Under Adverse Conditions - The Curtain Was Up.

Those Are My Principles, And If You Don't Like Them... Well, I Have Others.