Laugh And The World Laughs With You,

If Income Tax Is The Price You Have To Pay To Keep The Government On Its Feet, Alimony Is The Price We Have To Pay For Sweeping A Woman Off Hers.

Clowns Work As Well As Aspirin, But Twice As Fast.

Gerald Ford Was Unknown Throughout America. Now He's Unknown Throughout The World.

I'm Not Much Of A Correspondent. My Letters Are Not Only Uninteresting But Sparse. I'm Glad I Don?t Have To Write For A Living. It?s Arduous Work And The Money Is Very Uncertain. On Those Rare Occasions When I Wander Into A Bookstore It Amazes Me To See The Avalanche Of Literature And Semi-literature That Is Turned Out Weekly In This Country. The People Who Write These Things Are Either Desperate For Money Or Love Starved. Why Should Anyone On A Nice Balmy Day Lock Oneself In An Office And Hit A Typewriter For Hours On End. I Think One Of The Greatest Pleasures In The World Is Not Writing.

A Hospital Bed Is A Parked Taxi With The Meter Running.