Success Is Outliving Your Failures

I Was Too Old For A Paper Route, Too Young For Social Security And Too Tired For An Affair.

Somewhere It Is Written That Parents Who Are Critical Of Other People's Children And Publicly Admit They Can Do Better Are Asking For It.

It's Frightening To Wake Up One Morning And Discover That While You Were Asleep You Went Out Of Style.

Most Children's First Words Are 'mama' Or 'daddy.' Mine Were, 'do I Have To Use My Own Money?'

Someone Once Threw Me A Small, Brown, Hairy Kiwi Fruit, And I Threw A Wastebasket Over It Until It Was Dead.