Success Is Outliving Your Failures

I Don't Know Why No One Ever Thought To Paste A Label On The Toilet-tissue Spindle Giving 1-2-3 Directions For Replacing The Tissue On It. Then Everyone In The House Would Know What Mama Knows.

Never Have More Children Than You Have Car Windows.

Before You Try To Keep Up With The Joneses, Be Sure They're Not Trying To Keep Up With You.

A Friend Will Tell You She Saw Your Old Boyfriend - And He's A Priest.

There Is Nothing Sadder In This World Than To Awake Christmas Morning And Not Be A Child. ... Time, Self-pity, Apathy, Bitterness, And Exhaustion Can Take The Christmas Out Of The Child, But You Cannot Take The Child Out Of Christmas.