Never Lend Your Car To Anyone To

I Worry About Scientists Discovering That Lettuce Has Been Fattening All Along.

I Have Paid As Much As $300 A Night To Throw Up Into A Sink Shaped Like A Seashell.

For Years, My Husband And I Have Advocated Separate Vacations. But The Kids Keep Finding Us.

There Is Only One Thing Harder In This World Than Forgiving. It's To Ask Forgiveness Armed Only With, 'i'm Sorry'.

I Am Always Behind The Shopper At The Grocery Store Who Has Stitched Her Coupons In The Lining Of Her Coat And Wants To Talk About A 'strong' Chicken She Bought Two Weeks Ago. The Register Tape Also Runs Out Just Before Her Sub-total. In The Public Restroom, I Always Stand Behind The Teen-ager Who Is Changing Into Her Band Uniform For A Parade And Doesn't Emerge Until She Has Combed The Tassels On Her Boots, Shaved Her Legs, And Recovered Her Contact Lens From The Commode.