Room Service? Send Up A Larger Room.

Whoever Named It Necking Was A Poor Judge Of Anatomy.

A Cigar Makers Organization Once Said That I Was The Most Famous Cigar Smoker In The World. I Dont Know If Thats True, But Once While Visiting Havana, I Went To A Cigar Factory. There Were Four Hundred People There Rolling Cigars, And When They Saw Me, They All Stood Up And Applauded.

I Don't Care To Belong To A Club That Accepts People Like Me As Members.

One Morning I Shot An Elephant In My Pajamas. How He Got Into My Pajamas I'll Never Know.

The Husband Who Wants A Happy Marriage Should Learn To Keep His Mouth Shut And His Checkbook Open.