One Time I Went To A Hotel.

[on 8/24/04, Before Entering A Los Angeles Hospital For Heart Valve Replacement Surgery] If Things Go Right, I'll Be There About A Week, And If Things Don't Go Right, I'll Be There About An Hour And A Half.

What A Kid I Got, I Told Him About The Birds And The Bee And He Told Me About The Butcher And My Wife.

When I Was A Kid I Got No Respect. When I Went On The Roller Coaster, My Old Man Told Me To Stand Up Straight.

My Uncle's Dying Wish - He Wanted Me On His Lap. He Was In The Electric Chair.

I Told My Doctor I Wonna Stop Aging, He Gave Me A Gun!