Every Time I Get In An Elevator,

My Childhood Was Bad. No Father. Mother Was Greedy And Brought Me Up Awful - Never Made Me Breakfast Once. I Don't Want To Get Started. One Story Is Worse Than Another.

Me And My Dad Used To Play Tag, He'd Drive!

I Don't Know Kid, There Are So Many Places They Could Hide.

I Asked My Wife, 'on A Scale Of 1 To 10, How Do You Rate Me As A Lover?' She Said, 'you Know I'm No Good At Fractions.'

I'm A Downer. I've Been Depressed My Whole Life. Figure It Out.