She Was So Ugly That I Took

Last Halloween A Kid Tried To Rip My Face Off. He Thought It Was A Mask. Now It's Different When I Open The Door The Kids Hand Me Candy.

My Daughters Been Picked Up So Many Times She's Starting To Grow Handles

My Kids Scotch Tape Worms To The Sidewalk And Watch The Birds Get Hernias.

I Told My Wife 'hey Honey Come On, Let's Make Love Like The Old Days.' She Asked Me For 50 Bucks.

I Tell Ya, My Wife's A Lousy Cook. After Dinner, I Don't Brush My Teeth. I Count Them.