She Was So Ugly That I Took

If Every Man Was As True To His Country As He Was To His Wife, We'd Be In A Lot Of Trouble.

Oh, I Was An Ugly Kid. My Old Man Took Me To The Zoo. They Thanked Him For Returning Me.

I'm Getting So Old My Insurance Company Sends Me 1/2 A Calendar!

My Wife Gives Good Headache.

I Knew A Girl So Ugly, They Use Her In Prisons To Cure Sex Offenders.