I Come From A Stupid Family. My

I Joined Gamblers Anon., They Gave Me 2 To 1 I Wouldn't Make It! I Joined Aa, There Was A Two Drink Minimum!

I'm Tellin' Ya I Get No Respect. When I Was In Switzerland, I Got An Obscene Yodel.

When We Got Married, The First Thing My Wife Did Was Put Everything Under Both Names - Hers And Her Mother's.

I've Been Writing Jokes Since I'm Fifteen. Not Out Of Happiness, But To Go To A Different Place, Because Reality Wasn't Good To Me.

When I Was A Kid I Got No Respect. I Played Hide-and-seek. They Wouldn't Even Look For Me.