One Night I Asked A Cabbie To

Once I Pulled A Job, I Was So Stupid. I Picked A Guy's Pocket On An Airplane And Made A Run For It.

Oh, I Was An Ugly Kid. My Old Man Took Me To The Zoo. They Thanked Him For Returning Me.

I'm Not A Sexy Guy. I Went To A Hooker. I Dropped My Pants. She Dropped Her Price.

I Live In A Tough Neighborhood. They Got A Children's Zoo. Last Week, Four Kids Escaped.

I Started Over Again With An Image: Nothing Goes Right. Then When The Godfather Came Out, All I Heard Was, Show Respect. With Me, You Show Respect. So I Changed The Image To I Don't Get No Respect. I Tried It Out In Greenwich Village. I Remember The First Joke I Told: Even As A Kid, I'd Play Hide And Seek And The Other Kids Wouldn't Even Look For Me. The People Laughed. After The Show, They Started Saying To Me, Me, Too - I Don't Get No Respect. I Figured, Let's Try It Again.