I Went To A Fight The Other

You Know You're Ugly When You Go To The Proctologist And He Sticks His Finger In Your Mouth.

What A Childhood I Had, Why, When I Took My First Step, My Old Man Tripped Me!

And My Girlfriend, She's Fat! How Fat? She's So Fat She Wears Two Watches-one For Each Time Zone!

I Get No Respect. The Way My Luck Is Running, If I Was A Politician I Would Be Honest.

My Wife Isn't Very Bright. The Other Day She Was At The Store, And Just As She Was Heading For Our Car, Someone Stole It! I Said, "did You See The Guy That Did It?" She Said, "no, But I Got The License Plate."