I Went To A Fight The Other

I Drink Too Much, Way Too Much; My Doctor Drew Blood He Ran A Tab!

I Get No Respect. The Way My Luck Is Running, If I Was A Politician I Would Be Honest.

I Come From A Stupid Family. My Uncle Heard That Most Deaths Occurs Within Ten Miles Of The House...so He Moved.

I Found There Was Only One Way To Look Thin: Hang Out With Fat People.

I Tell Ya, Sex Is Getting Harder All The Time. Me And My Wife Were Trying To Have Sex For Hours Last Night And I Finally Gave Up. I Asked Her, "what, You Can't Think Of Anybody Either?"