I Was A Poster Child... For Birth

My Wife Isn't Very Bright. The Other Day She Was At The Store, And Just As She Was Heading For Our Car, Someone Stole It! I Said, "did You See The Guy That Did It?" She Said, "no, But I Got The License Plate."

I Say 'no' To Drugs. Whenever Someone Asks Me For Some Of My Drugs I Say, 'no.

I Knew A Girl So Ugly, I Took Her To The Top Of The Empire State Building And Planes Started To Attack Her.

Steak And Sex, My Favorite Pair. I Get Them Both Very Rare.

I Tell Ya, My Wife Was Never Nice. On Our First Date, I Asked Her If I Could Give Her A Goodnight Kiss On The Cheek - She Bent Over!