I Was A Poster Child... For Birth

My Wife A Great Driver, She Once Hit A Deer. It Was In A Zoo. There Is A Pair Of Shoes On The Dashboard. They Belong To The Last Guy She Hit

I Started Over Again With An Image: Nothing Goes Right. Then When The Godfather Came Out, All I Heard Was, Show Respect. With Me, You Show Respect. So I Changed The Image To I Don't Get No Respect. I Tried It Out In Greenwich Village. I Remember The First Joke I Told: Even As A Kid, I'd Play Hide And Seek And The Other Kids Wouldn't Even Look For Me. The People Laughed. After The Show, They Started Saying To Me, Me, Too - I Don't Get No Respect. I Figured, Let's Try It Again.

When My Wife Drives, There's Always Trouble. The Other Day She Took The Car. She Came Home. She Told Me, There's Water In The Carburetor. I Asked Her, Where's The Car? She Said, In A Lake.

My Cousins Gay, He Went To London Only To Find Out That Big Ben Was A Clock.

I'm At An Age Where I Think More About Food Than I Do About Sex. Last Week I Put A Mirror Over My Dining Room Table.