A Hooker Once Told Me She Had

If You Can't Write Your Own Material, You Have Very Little Chance Of Making It As A Comedian.

Acting Deals With Very Delicate Emotions. It Is Not Putting Up A Mask. Each Time An Actor Acts He Does Not Hide; He Exposes Himself.

My Golf Game Is Getting Real Good. Last Week, I Got Through The Windmill.

A Sense Of Humor Is Rare. It Isn't Telling A Joke About How There Are Three Ways To Get To Heaven. It's Being In A Restaurant And Hearing Someone Say, Everyone's Got Their Tale Of Woe, And Then Turning Around And Saying, Unfortunately, In Life, There's More Woe Than Tail.

With My Dog I Don't Get No Respect. He Keeps Barking At The Front Door. He Don't Want To Go Out. He Wants Me To Leave.