Once I Was In A Restaurant And

I'm Not A Fatalist; Even If I Were, What Could I Do About It?

If An Asteroid Is Coming Toward You, You Don't Have To Blow It Up. You Just Have To Slow It Down Long Enough For Our Country To Rotate Out Of The Way.

I Was Walking Down The Street. Something Caught My Eye, And Dragged It Fifteen Feet.

I Asked God For A Bike, But I Know God Doesn't Work That Way. So I Stole A Bike And Asked For Forgiveness.

A Friend Of Mine Gave Me A Philip Glass Record. I Listened To It For Five Hours Before I Realized It Had A Scratch On It.