I Was A Cute Baby. My Mom

My Jokes Are In My Head And I Have A Duplicate Copy Of My Jokes In A Lot Of British Comics' Heads, Where They Are Safe.

I Had A Very Close Relationship With Another Kid When I Was Growing Up. I Was His Imaginary Friend.

He Taught Me Never To Smile, Which Helps Me When I Visit Disaster Sites.

I Thought I Was Raptured Up Into The Air Today; Turns Out, It Was Just My Gas Oven Exploding.

My Classmates Would Copulate With Anything That Moved, But I Never Saw Any Reason To Limit Myself.