I Lent A Friend Of Mine $10,000

I've Always Thought The Best Way To Teach A Kid Not To Be Scared Of The Dark Is To Fill His Daylight Hours With As Much Horror As Possible.

They Have A Sign At The Beach, "no Glass Bottles". I Think That's So The Other Sand Particles Don't Feel Like Underachievers.

Some Comedians Change Their Style, Often To Their Advantage; But I See No Reason Why I Can't Continue With The "urbane Sophisticate" 'til The Day I Die.

My Parents Were Very Protective. I Couldn't Even Cross The Street Without Them Getting All Excited, And Placing Bets.

I Wanted To Get From 4th Street To 8th... Then I Remembered Einstein Postulating That Parallel Lines Eventually Meet. They're Dredging My Car From Lake Michigan As We Speak.