I Lent A Friend Of Mine $10,000

I Was A Cute Baby. My Mom Said When I Was Born They Threw Away The Mold. Some Of It Grew Back.

I Love England. In Fact, They're Getting To Know Me So Well At Heathrow Immigration That This Time I Was Able To Completely Bypass The Six Months Rabies Quarantine.

I Was In A Bar The Other Night, Hopping From Barstool To Barstool, Trying To Get Lucky, But There Wasn't Any Gum Under Any Of Them.

I Never Cheated On My Wife. I Took Seriously Those Vows Of Celibacy.

I Had A Very Close Relationship With Another Kid When I Was Growing Up. I Was His Imaginary Friend.