I'm Not Catholic, But I Gave Up

When I Was 10, I Beat Up The School Bully. His Arms Were In Casts. That's What Gave Me The Courage.

They Have A Sign At The Beach, "no Glass Bottles". I Think That's So The Other Sand Particles Don't Feel Like Underachievers.

I Was In A Bar The Other Night, Hopping From Barstool To Barstool, Trying To Get Lucky, But There Wasn't Any Gum Under Any Of Them.

Sometimes My Mother Goes Through My Socks And Underwear. I Wouldn't Mind, But It Tickles So Much!

When I Was Young, My Father Had A Serious Heart Attack. He Survived, But We Lost Our House And Car. Under The Canadian Medicare System, Though, We Would Have Kept The House And Car And Would Have Just Had To Pay The Inheritance Tax.