Once I Posed Nude For A Magazine.

Some Comedians Change Their Style, Often To Their Advantage; But I See No Reason Why I Can't Continue With The "urbane Sophisticate" 'til The Day I Die.

I Was Feeling A Bit Down, I Went To A Therapist A Few Times, At A Hundred Bucks A Pop. But Then I Realized That No Therapy Session Would Ever Cheer Me Up Half As Much As If I Was Just Strolling Along And Found A Hundred Dollar Bill.

I Like To Play Chess With Bald Men In The Park Although It's Hard To Find 32 Of Them.

I Never Cheated On My Wife. I Took Seriously Those Vows Of Celibacy.

The Subconscious Is Like Having A Laboratory Assistant Who Pretends To Love You And Help You, But After You Go Home To Go To Sleep It Goes Back Into The Lab And Starts Fumbling With The Data And Destroying It. It's A Very Tricky Thing. People Think Our Minds Are Us, But That's Not True At All. The Mind Is Not Us.