A Friend Of Mine Gave Me A

The Nicest Present I Ever Got Was An Exploding Suppository.

I Don't Have To Tell You Folks About Scuba Diving. So, That'll Save Some Time.

I Got A Job At An Amusement Park. I Like To Make The Rides More Terrifying By Throwing A Couple Of Screws Onto The Seats.

Even The Worst Comic Is At Least Somewhat Entertaining, If Only In A Pathological Way, For Five Minutes.

I've Always Thought The Best Way To Teach A Kid Not To Be Scared Of The Dark Is To Fill His Daylight Hours With As Much Horror As Possible.