On The Whole I Woke Up In

We Seem To Be Going Through A Period Of Nostalgia, And Everyone Seems To Think Yesterday Was Better Than Today. I Don't Think It Was, And I Would Advise You Not To Wait Ten Years Before Admitting Today Was Great. If You're Hung Up On Nostalgia, Pretend Today Is Yesterday And Just Go Out And Have One Hell Of A Time.

Every Once In A While Your World Stands Still... There Are Certain Friendships That Are So Important They Leave A Mark On You Long After The Person Is Gone.

This Is A Wonderful Way To Celebrate An 80th Birthday... I Wanted To Be 65 Again, But They Wouldn't Let Me - Homeland Security.

As My Good Friend Al Capp Told Me A Few Years Ago, The Best Thing To Do With A Confirmed [hotel] Reservation Slip When You Have No Room Is To Spread It Out On The Sidewalk In Front Of The Hotel And Go To Sleep On It. You'll Either Embarrass The Hotel Into Giving You A Room Or You'll Be Hauled Off To The Local Jug, Where At Least You'll Have A Roof Over Your Head.

You Can't Make Up Anything Anymore. The World Itself Is A Satire. All You're Doing Is Recording It.