Every Time You Think Television Has Hit

It Was A Dangerous Profession I Had Chosen ... Because No One Likes A Funny Kid. In Fact, Adults Are Scared Silly Of Them And Tend To Warn Children Who Act Out That They Are Going To Wind Up In Prison Or Worse. It Is Only When You Grow Up That They Pay You Vast Sums Of Money To Make Them Laugh.

I Look At Life As Being Cruise Director On The Titanic. I May Not Get There, But I'm Going First Class.

I Don't Mind 800 Million Chinese Drinking A Bottle [of Coca-cola] A Day, But I Don't Want Them To Bring Back The Empties.

Americans Are Just Beginning To Regard Food The Way The French Always Have. Dinner Is Not What You Do In The Evening Before Something Else. Dinner Is The Evening.

I Have No Idea Where I'm Going But Here's The Real Question: What Am I Doing Here In The First Place?