This Is What Makes Me Happy: ...any

When I Got To The Hospice I Was Under The Impression It Would Be A Two- Or Three-week Stay. But Here I Still Am, Six Weeks Later, And I've Gotten So Well Medicare Won't Pay For Me Anymore.

I Don't Mind 800 Million Chinese Drinking A Bottle [of Coca-cola] A Day, But I Don't Want Them To Bring Back The Empties.

People Are Broad-minded. They'll Accept The Fact That A Person Can Be An Alcoholic, A Dope Fiend, A Wife Beater And Even A Newspaperman, But If A Man Does Not Drive, There Is Something Wrong With Him.

Every Time You Think Television Has Hit Its Lowest Ebb, A New Program Comes Along To Make You Wonder Where You Thought The Ebb Was.

And Man Created The Plastic Bag And The Tin And Aluminum Can And The Cellophane Wrapper And The Paper Plate, And This Was Good Because Man Could Then Take His Automobile And Buy All His Food In One Place And He Could Save That Which Was Good To Eat In The Refrigerator And Throw Away That Which Had No Further Use. And Soon The Earth Was Covered With Plastic Bags And Aluminum Cans And Paper Plates And Disposable Bottles And There Was Nowhere To Sit Down Or Walk, And Man Shook His Head And Cried: "look At This Godawful Mess.