Every Once In A While Your World

Just When You Think There's Nothing To Write About, Nixon Says, "i Am Not A Crook." Jimmy Carter Says, "i Have Lusted After Women In My Heart." President Reagan Says, "i Have Just Taken A Urinalysis Test, And I Am Not On Dope."

No One Ever Mentioned It, But Thousands Of Men Welcomed World War Ii As A Way To Escape Their Humdrum Lives Rather Than A Chance To Fight For God And Country.

As The Economy Gets Better, Everything Else Gets Worse.

... I Could Have Said Something Profound, But You Would Have Forgotten It In 15 Minutes - Which Is The Afterlife Of A Graduation Speech.

As My Good Friend Al Capp Told Me A Few Years Ago, The Best Thing To Do With A Confirmed [hotel] Reservation Slip When You Have No Room Is To Spread It Out On The Sidewalk In Front Of The Hotel And Go To Sleep On It. You'll Either Embarrass The Hotel Into Giving You A Room Or You'll Be Hauled Off To The Local Jug, Where At Least You'll Have A Roof Over Your Head.