I Like Champagne Because It Always Tastes

Just When You Think There's Nothing To Write About, Nixon Says, "i Am Not A Crook." Jimmy Carter Says, "i Have Lusted After Women In My Heart." President Reagan Says, "i Have Just Taken A Urinalysis Test, And I Am Not On Dope."

Every Time You Think Television Has Hit Its Lowest Ebb, A New Program Comes Along To Make You Wonder Where You Thought The Ebb Was.

The Best Things In Life Aren't Things.

I Didn't Go On Dialysis Because I Was 81 Years Old And I'd Done Everything I Wanted, Or So I Thought.

If President Nixon's Secretary, Rosemary Woods, Had Been Moses' Secretary, There Would Only Be Eight Commandments.