I Like Champagne Because It Always Tastes

You Can't Make Up Anything Anymore. The World Itself Is A Satire. All You're Doing Is Recording It.

Television Has A Real Problem. They Have No Page Two.

The Reason I Don't Play Golf Is Because I Was A Caddie When I Was 13. Women Never Gave Up A Golf Ball That Was Lost Somewhere In The Trees And Thicket And Down Through The Poison Ivy. It Was During One Of These Searches That I Vowed To The Lord Above That If I Ever Earned Enough Money I Would Never Set Foot On A Course Again.

I'm Working When I'm Fighting With My Wife. I Constantly Ask Myself-how Can I Use This Stuff To Literary Advantage.

I Like Champagne Because It Always Tastes As Though My Foot's Asleep.