I Look At Life As Being Cruise

If President Nixon's Secretary, Rosemary Woods, Had Been Moses' Secretary, There Would Only Be Eight Commandments.

Writing Humor In My Column Isn't As Dangerous As Performing It. If I Fail In Front Of A Live Audience, The Humiliation Is As Great As Anything A Human Being Can Suffer.

If You Attack The Establishment Long Enough And Hard Enough, They Will Make You A Member Of It.

The Things That Matter Most Are Not Things.

There Isn't A Child Who Hasn't Gone Out Into The Brave New World Who Eventually Doesn't Return To The Old Homestead Carrying A Bundle Of Dirty Clothes.