I Look At Life As Being Cruise

Writing Humor In My Column Isn't As Dangerous As Performing It. If I Fail In Front Of A Live Audience, The Humiliation Is As Great As Anything A Human Being Can Suffer.

This Is Not An Easy Time For Humorists Because The Government Is Far Funnier Than We Are.

Tax Reform Is Taking The Taxes Off Things That Have Been Taxed In The Past And Putting Taxes On Things That Haven't Been Taxed Before.

While My Friends Were Discussing Pearl Harbor As The Country's Problem, I Took It Personally. It Dawned On Me That The Japanese Attack Could Be My Ticket Out Of High School.

The Most Important Thing About Writing A Book Is Having Book Parties.