I Try To Figure My Adjusted Gross

Nobody's Too Fat - They're Just Too Short.

When You Finally Go Back To Your Old Home, You Find It Wasn't The Old Home You Missed But Your Childhood.

Nothing Is So Embarrassing As Watching Someone Do Something That You Said Couldn't Be Done.

Inflation Is When You Pay Fifteen Dollars For The Ten-dollar Haircut You Used To Get For Five Dollars When You Had Hair.

Computers Will Never Take The Place Of Books. You Can't Stand On A Floppy Disk To Reach A High Shelf.