Two Things Help To Keep One's Job.

There's No Thief Like A Bad Movie.

As A Child, A Library Card Takes You To Exotic, Faraway Places. When You're Grown Up, A Credit Card Does It.

In Many Instances, Marriage Vows Would Be More Accurate If The Phrase Were Changed To 'until Debt Do Us Part'.

Inflation Is When You Pay Fifteen Dollars For The Ten-dollar Haircut You Used To Get For Five Dollars When You Had Hair.

A Man Can Please His Wife With A Box Of Candy, Surprise Her With A Bouquet Of Flowers, And Make Her Suspicious With A Gold Bracelet.